Honor-related violence often evokes extreme images: forced marriage, genital mutilation, honor killing. According to practical experience, the phenomenon is much broader and its most common forms are controlling, forcing and isolating another person from the family or community.
Typical honor-related conflict situations arise between young people and their families, when young people want to become independent or date secretly, and when getting married or choosing a spouse. A young person's rainbow identity can also be difficult for the family or community to accept, which can lead to rejection, avoidance of the young person, or the fact that the family does violence to the young person or, for example, pressures them to marry. Among young people, honor-related violence can be seen, for example, as control between siblings and the spreading of gossip or sexually offensive material on social media. Domestic violence can have features related to honor. Divorce is also a typical situation that triggers violence.
Honor-related violence is a community-damaging use of power, with which those who commit violence think they are protecting their own and their family's honor. They commit violence as a human gesture that they suspect is doing something that violates important norms of the community, i.e. threatens the honor of the family. What is essential about honor is what important others think of me and my family, whether in their eyes I am a good person and from a good family. People themselves may sometimes justify violence with culture, religion or traditions.
Typically, the risk of such violence is greater in closed communities, where it is thought that conflict situations regarding community norms should be handled within the community. There are typically several people who commit violence and participate in pressure and control, sometimes to such an extent that the victim feels that all members of their own community are involved. Often in situations there is a chain of pressure, where the person who does violence to another family member feels strong pressure himself and perhaps violence from a third family member, who in turn feels pressure from his wider family or other community. Both women and men and people of the opposite sex experience violence. There are also those who commit violence from all genders. People belonging to sexual and gender minorities are in a particularly vulnerable position.
Violence related to honor often remains hidden from outside helpers for a long time. Talking about it to outsiders is a big taboo and telling about it can be scary and shame-producing. The situation of violence is also often normalized, in which case it can be difficult for a person to understand what violence actually is in his situation or the effects of this violence on his well-being and ability to function.
Violence can be very diverse: it often involves mental, physical, religious, financial, digital and sexual violence. This kind of violence is often a long continuum of small and larger acts, which ultimately shrinks a person's right to self-determination and ability to act to a very small extent. A person who experiences honor-related violence is in a very vulnerable position, because leaving the community may mean losing the entire close circle. The victim may also fear for the safety of his loved ones, such as his siblings or children. Therefore, when identifying the phenomenon, it is important to see the whole situation of the person and the family in order to understand why the situation is so difficult and why the solution options that seem obvious to the helper are not necessarily possible for the person experiencing or perpetrating violence right now. 
At Sopu, we work against honor-related violence. We support both people who experience violence and people who have committed violence and, if necessary, also other parties to the conflict. If necessary, we work as part of official and other professional networks. Our client can be anyone who has experienced honor-related violence or the threat of it, or another party to the conflict. Cultural or religious background does not matter. As part of professional networks, we also do advocacy work so that, for example, the service system and legislation better identify and support those who experience violence.
An important part of this work is also the prevention of honor-related violence. Honor-related violence is a multi-caused phenomenon, and in change work, safer spaces are needed to discuss among peers, for example, one's own and the family's or the wider community's concepts of honor, gender roles, self-determination and sexual rights. In addition to such groups, we organize workshops for young people to deal with experiences of identity and racism.
Aino and Hannaneh
The authors work as Sopu Varsinais-Suomi experts at Aurala Settlement
PS Note related webinar: webinar 5/3/23
